Everyone over the age of 18 should have a health care proxy. Period. Everyone. That means you, too. A health care proxy appoints the person of your choice to make health care decisions for you if you are unable to do so. If your college student has a car accident and is taken to the local hospital, you want to be called, consulted, and listened to. A health care proxy can assist in this process. (Have him or her keep a copy in the glove box). A beloved family member is fading from a variety of age related illnesses, a health care proxy will help her get (or not get) the type of treatment SHE would choose. Will your frail parent want to be resuscitated if it will result in pain, broken ribs, and the extension of their terminal illness? Are you a “keep on trying no matter what!” type of person? Make that clear to your health care proxy.
A health care proxy in Massachusetts does not replace a living will. It appoints one person who can direct the medical decisions of the person who has made the document (principal). The best way to assure that your wishes are honored is to speak with the person you have chosen, and have some honest conversations about your wishes, well before the need arises. What makes a life worth living, rather than simply existing in pain or incapacity? This is a personal viewpoint, and one that it’s hard to know about someone else. Two tools I use with my clients are the “What If Workbook” and “Five Wishes”. Each lays out some of the questions and decisions we face with end of life medical care.
One final point. If you want your children or spouse or best friend to be able to speak with your medical provider, they should be named in a HIPPA release form. Our privacy laws can be a great help in protecting confidentiality, but can frustrate our families attempts to understand our condition and prognosis. A health care provider may not speak to you even if you are a parent, spouse, or child without legal permission to do so.